It's so dark in the morning - again - and I feel it was only few months ago it was snowing and freezing. I dislike winter because of the cold and I'm sure I'm meant for warmer areas, but obviously my parents didn't think so.. Today it's just not possible to move. And I actually like that we have 4 seasons in Denmark so different from each other. I like Autumn with all its warm colors, the leafs lieing around, the wind in the trees. I like Christmas when it's white outside, or just dark and cosy, I like spring because Spring feels like starting a new life. Everything get's lighter again and more positive after a long dark winter. And Summer, Summer is just wonderful, warm and life giving.
What I dislike is, that time goes so fast. I hardly have time to enjoy Summer, Spring, Autumn or Winter. Perhaps it is inside me something is wrong - that I'm just too busy with other stuff, that I forget to stop up, relax and enjoy the moment.
And it made me think about my life too. Am I really doing what I love to do? My dream is to be working with games - to be more creative, but I'm stuck where I am (im working semi-creatively now with Indesign and Photoshop - marketing related jobs, designing brochures, pricelists, flyers, posters etc.). We live in a big house and we NEED two income to be able to live here. I recently looked into the posibility of taking a game-developing education. But one module (12 weeks) will cost around 40K PED - and there's 6 modules in total ...
You won't be able to have a full time job next to it, because it's in the week days from 9-15. You can't get anything from the government - as a support to the education because 1) I'm too old and 2) the education is not on the list for special substitutes.
So adding it all up, it will take me 240K PED to take this education (that's for the training alone). It till take me 1 1/2 year to take the full education - and I need 40K a month to be able to pay my bills - which is 720K PED. So tell me, how will that EVER be possible??
I looked online to find e-learning courses which is not costing a farm, and which would be possible to do whenever I have the time in the evenings. But I didn't find anything.
What I'm interested in learning is:
Blender OR
3D Max OR
Mayar (though the two last programes cost a lot of money, which is why Im trying to teach myself Blender from all kind of books I bought online).
Self studies with no support is extremely difficult though, because I need advice in the practical tehcnical things - not the creativity, because I already have that!
I also wish to start drawing again, because I have been a lot. My head is spinning and filled with awesome story lines and they would just be much better if I can support them with some awesome drawings. But that I might be able to find as an everning course (again it costs money). And it's not necessary EU related, but new ideas for new kind of games and histories/stories/gameplay for new and other games.
Meh - I feel stuck.
How do you get into this world? Am I just too late in the age of 41 and should forget to follow my highest dream? Do you know any online e-learning courses in any of the above, which doesn't require you to be from the US (it's fine it's all in English though)?
Any other ideas or suggestions?
Time goes so fast, I feel it's running from me, and sometimes I nearly feel like crying because of it :(
HUGS
(originally postere HERE)
tirsdag den 2. november 2010
mandag den 14. juni 2010
How time is running ...
... when you're in good company ;)
Anyway, it's been a while - nearing a year since I was here the last time. Fact is, I've been quite busy with a couple of projects.
Biggest must be the new forums, Peter and I managed to set up. One for Entropia and one for Afterworld. We're pretty pleased with them and they seem to be popular enough.
You may find them here:
www.entropiaplanets.com
www.afterworldforum.com
Entropia Planets is the biggest success. We now have very close to 1,000 members and it's growing every day. We also spent a lot of time and have done (still doing) a lot of work to make this happen. I'm working as newsreporter on top of the forum-layouter and Peter is very busy in the tech crew. Atm we both work on a new v/bulletin version of the forum (Peter more than I since he has to make sure all the forum tools will be working when we release the new version) - I've been working with the layout :)
I hope AfterWorldForum will grow too and become just as big of a success, but it takes such a long time because the game is still under development.
Another things, which has taking our time, is an indie project we have *Terrarapio*. We involved other people in it, and I can't say more other than we hope one day (in many years) it will be awesome :)
In my freetime I'm trying to find out how to use Blender - a 3D program to use fx when developing games. I never used it before and I know absolutely nothing about it - but the program is free and I thought it might be exciting to try it out. In the beginning I must admit I was pretty confused. I bought a lot of books online and now small parts seem to come together. At least this weekend I managed to sculpt a monster head :) And atm I'm working on an evil Chicken ...
We were forced to put up the house for sale, which is heartbreaking. Peter lost his job 3 months ago and we just couldn't see how we would be able to pay the huge bills we have on the house. But luckily now he got a new job - we're not that eager to sell anymore, but for the right price we still might ...
Garden looks lovely now the summer is heading towards us - but here in DK it's such a horrible weather with so much rain, thunder and rough wind.
My plans for the near future is to work more on my drawings and some whisky art :) Making whisky pictures WITH actual whisky ... yes, Peter is crying :D but I find the idea awesome!
See you soon!
Anyway, it's been a while - nearing a year since I was here the last time. Fact is, I've been quite busy with a couple of projects.
Biggest must be the new forums, Peter and I managed to set up. One for Entropia and one for Afterworld. We're pretty pleased with them and they seem to be popular enough.
You may find them here:
www.entropiaplanets.com
www.afterworldforum.com
Entropia Planets is the biggest success. We now have very close to 1,000 members and it's growing every day. We also spent a lot of time and have done (still doing) a lot of work to make this happen. I'm working as newsreporter on top of the forum-layouter and Peter is very busy in the tech crew. Atm we both work on a new v/bulletin version of the forum (Peter more than I since he has to make sure all the forum tools will be working when we release the new version) - I've been working with the layout :)
I hope AfterWorldForum will grow too and become just as big of a success, but it takes such a long time because the game is still under development.
Another things, which has taking our time, is an indie project we have *Terrarapio*. We involved other people in it, and I can't say more other than we hope one day (in many years) it will be awesome :)
In my freetime I'm trying to find out how to use Blender - a 3D program to use fx when developing games. I never used it before and I know absolutely nothing about it - but the program is free and I thought it might be exciting to try it out. In the beginning I must admit I was pretty confused. I bought a lot of books online and now small parts seem to come together. At least this weekend I managed to sculpt a monster head :) And atm I'm working on an evil Chicken ...
We were forced to put up the house for sale, which is heartbreaking. Peter lost his job 3 months ago and we just couldn't see how we would be able to pay the huge bills we have on the house. But luckily now he got a new job - we're not that eager to sell anymore, but for the right price we still might ...
Garden looks lovely now the summer is heading towards us - but here in DK it's such a horrible weather with so much rain, thunder and rough wind.
My plans for the near future is to work more on my drawings and some whisky art :) Making whisky pictures WITH actual whisky ... yes, Peter is crying :D but I find the idea awesome!
See you soon!
onsdag den 26. august 2009
Holy shit!
Always beleived in Lock Ness - and here's proofs!!!
Lock Ness monster captured by Google Earth
Oh, and it's my b-day today. 40 is no age, really, though my body tried telling me something else this morning *sighs*
Had a very cosy breakfast with Amanda and Peter. Saturday we went to the center and in a music store I listening to some nice Sinatra oldies - and told Amanda (she's just 7), THIS would make mommy happy for her b-day.
She told me to go outside and wait while she and Peter would find me a gift and came running out the store with a bag in her hand saying *aren't you gonna be surpriced ...*.. And yes, I WAS this morning when I got the Sinatra cd - and she said *you had NO idea, did you?* ... no nono .. of course not *smile*
At work I was met with flags and balloons all over my office. One of the girls bought me roses from herself personaly - the company gave me a nice gift card for clothes and a very nice big bucket of flowers with soft pink roses! Another colleague of mine also gave me a personal gift - a bottle of wine and some wild flowers from 'her island'. But best of all, I got such a cute personal card I was nearly crying.
Tonight Peter and I will celebrate with some lobsters and some tiny apple pies I made when I baked a huge apple pie for my work. Everything of that was eaten btw - very popular. The apples are from our tree in the garden and they are perfect for pies and food. Peter pealed them, probably because he's b-day is next week, and if he wants a cake like this with him for work, he needs to do some of the job too :D JK - he didn't complain about it at all ;)
Lock Ness monster captured by Google Earth
Oh, and it's my b-day today. 40 is no age, really, though my body tried telling me something else this morning *sighs*
Had a very cosy breakfast with Amanda and Peter. Saturday we went to the center and in a music store I listening to some nice Sinatra oldies - and told Amanda (she's just 7), THIS would make mommy happy for her b-day.
She told me to go outside and wait while she and Peter would find me a gift and came running out the store with a bag in her hand saying *aren't you gonna be surpriced ...*.. And yes, I WAS this morning when I got the Sinatra cd - and she said *you had NO idea, did you?* ... no nono .. of course not *smile*
At work I was met with flags and balloons all over my office. One of the girls bought me roses from herself personaly - the company gave me a nice gift card for clothes and a very nice big bucket of flowers with soft pink roses! Another colleague of mine also gave me a personal gift - a bottle of wine and some wild flowers from 'her island'. But best of all, I got such a cute personal card I was nearly crying.
Tonight Peter and I will celebrate with some lobsters and some tiny apple pies I made when I baked a huge apple pie for my work. Everything of that was eaten btw - very popular. The apples are from our tree in the garden and they are perfect for pies and food. Peter pealed them, probably because he's b-day is next week, and if he wants a cake like this with him for work, he needs to do some of the job too :D JK - he didn't complain about it at all ;)
mandag den 24. august 2009
An inspiring morning thought ...
Waking up in the morning with a wonderful guy on your side, who you can even call your husband. And the first thing your daughter makes you is a drawing with a heart saying I LOVE YOU. Walking down the street with the sun in your eyes after a rouch week with illness and stress, you just walk there, you see all the other stressed people and smile by yourself happy it's not you, you can smell the new baked bread from the baker and the coffee from the little coffee-bikes offering freshmade mokka around on corners.
Did you ever have it like this, where you push away the stress, the financial problems, the thoughts about what you need to do but mostly, what you didnt do but should have done - and then you find out it's the little things that really matters?
With a morning like this, where the home made coffee your husband made for you for the ride in the car and with a nice easy chat, you find out this is worth more than the million you were supposed to win last saturday - if you could choose, if ANY day you had to choose - THIS would have been a perfect day to die.
And it is not to sound morbid - and I'm far from longing after death - but if it ever matters, this would have been the morning that you would wish was a last memory because it cuddled you in and made you feel happy, save and rich - in contrary being stuck to a bed in a hospital waiting for the last moment.
If I could choose, this would definitely have been one of those days ...
---------------
UPDATE
Rofl .. to make a perfect day even more perfect! I went home, walking down to the station of Nørreport in the middle of Copenhagen - as usually. When I reached the station and the crowded Strøget, suddenly a lady in her late 50's ... alright normal looking ... stopped me and said with a big friendly smile *I really like your clothes ...* and then she walk again without a bye or anything as if nothing had happened ... I looked down and was thinking first *she wants something* or * my clothes must sit wrong* .. but then I thought by myself - maybe she could just feel it was my good day today and wanted to make it a little bit better. Big thanks from me :)
Did you ever have it like this, where you push away the stress, the financial problems, the thoughts about what you need to do but mostly, what you didnt do but should have done - and then you find out it's the little things that really matters?
With a morning like this, where the home made coffee your husband made for you for the ride in the car and with a nice easy chat, you find out this is worth more than the million you were supposed to win last saturday - if you could choose, if ANY day you had to choose - THIS would have been a perfect day to die.
And it is not to sound morbid - and I'm far from longing after death - but if it ever matters, this would have been the morning that you would wish was a last memory because it cuddled you in and made you feel happy, save and rich - in contrary being stuck to a bed in a hospital waiting for the last moment.
If I could choose, this would definitely have been one of those days ...
---------------
UPDATE
Rofl .. to make a perfect day even more perfect! I went home, walking down to the station of Nørreport in the middle of Copenhagen - as usually. When I reached the station and the crowded Strøget, suddenly a lady in her late 50's ... alright normal looking ... stopped me and said with a big friendly smile *I really like your clothes ...* and then she walk again without a bye or anything as if nothing had happened ... I looked down and was thinking first *she wants something* or * my clothes must sit wrong* .. but then I thought by myself - maybe she could just feel it was my good day today and wanted to make it a little bit better. Big thanks from me :)
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