Were is time going?

It's so dark in the morning - again - and I feel it was only few months ago it was snowing and freezing. I dislike winter because of the cold and I'm sure I'm meant for warmer areas, but obviously my parents didn't think so.. Today it's just not possible to move. And I actually like that we have 4 seasons in Denmark so different from each other. I like Autumn with all its warm colors, the leafs lieing around, the wind in the trees. I like Christmas when it's white outside, or just dark and cosy, I like spring because Spring feels like starting a new life. Everything get's lighter again and more positive after a long dark winter. And Summer, Summer is just wonderful, warm and life giving.

What I dislike is, that time goes so fast. I hardly have time to enjoy Summer, Spring, Autumn or Winter. Perhaps it is inside me something is wrong - that I'm just too busy with other stuff, that I forget to stop up, relax and enjoy the moment.

And it made me think about my life too. Am I really doing what I love to do? My dream is to be working with games - to be more creative, but I'm stuck where I am (im working semi-creatively now with Indesign and Photoshop - marketing related jobs, designing brochures, pricelists, flyers, posters etc.). We live in a big house and we NEED two income to be able to live here. I recently looked into the posibility of taking a game-developing education. But one module (12 weeks) will cost around 40K PED - and there's 6 modules in total ...

You won't be able to have a full time job next to it, because it's in the week days from 9-15. You can't get anything from the government - as a support to the education because 1) I'm too old and 2) the education is not on the list for special substitutes.

So adding it all up, it will take me 240K PED to take this education (that's for the training alone). It till take me 1 1/2 year to take the full education - and I need 40K a month to be able to pay my bills - which is 720K PED. So tell me, how will that EVER be possible??

I looked online to find e-learning courses which is not costing a farm, and which would be possible to do whenever I have the time in the evenings. But I didn't find anything.

What I'm interested in learning is:

Blender OR
3D Max OR
Mayar (though the two last programes cost a lot of money, which is why Im trying to teach myself Blender from all kind of books I bought online).

Self studies with no support is extremely difficult though, because I need advice in the practical tehcnical things - not the creativity, because I already have that!

I also wish to start drawing again, because I have been a lot. My head is spinning and filled with awesome story lines and they would just be much better if I can support them with some awesome drawings. But that I might be able to find as an everning course (again it costs money). And it's not necessary EU related, but new ideas for new kind of games and histories/stories/gameplay for new and other games.

Meh - I feel stuck.

How do you get into this world? Am I just too late in the age of 41 and should forget to follow my highest dream? Do you know any online e-learning courses in any of the above, which doesn't require you to be from the US (it's fine it's all in English though)?

Any other ideas or suggestions?

Time goes so fast, I feel it's running from me, and sometimes I nearly feel like crying because of it :(

HUGS

(originally postere HERE)